Then, you have to understand what is causing the effect you are experiencing.When you look outside of yourself for the cause, you don’t have any power to change it.As for the emotionally unavailable "player," he tends to hold so steadfastly to a rigid male stereotype that his experience of himself also becomes stunted, and the world he sees around him takes on a bland hue.
I'd just recounted a lovely, snow-filled weekend I'd spent upstate with a man I'd been hanging out with for three months. I quickly conducted an invisible assessment of the relationship in my head. But the person I was seeing didn't fit in any one of those boxes.It may be because she believes his very aloofness makes him a more desirable catch.If she hangs in there long enough, he will eventually commit, and it will mean so much more because he was so ambivalent about her in the beginning.Are you stuck in a casual relationship with a partner who seems uninterested in a deeper commitment?It can be difficult to understand why a lover is noncommittal or why these commitment issues seem to arise time after time. A desire for a "defining the relationship" conversation: absolutely not.Like so many other 20-somethings, I was in a series of noncommittal, nonexclusive casual romantic relationships with people I was both sexually and deeply emotionally intimate with, not to mention going out on dates with. And a dating partner was exactly the kind of relationship so many 20-somethings, including me, want. They give us predetermined contexts in which to interact with the people around us. "He's, well," I searched for a word that didn't seem to exist, "he's my dating partner."Relationship definitions are an important thing for most people.The ones who want to get married are boring and the ones who don’t are so sexy, but flaky when it comes to settling down to a long-term relationship.If you are always meeting non-committal men (or women), the problem isn’t with the selection out there, but within your own mind.